C'est la vie!

ive been utilizing tumblr alot lately considering i dont have a computer to work from.. haha i do pretty good for myself..

For the first time in a long time, i was actually in my house before 10pm. I hate it, being alone all the time sucks. It gets really lonely & i never want to be alone.. yet i rather sit in my room then converse with my family.. (but come on, who does) I do value my alone time but i usually like that to be right before i go to bed.. alone time before bed is all i need really.. Any time more than that i (A)try to occupy my time with television or internet junk (B)Meticulously go over every detail of what is bothering me or (C)Sitting in the silence of my room. A&B both not good for me, C just weird, but i do it all the time.. I happen to value silence..  i dislike to waste my time with television but when ever i am home thats all i do because there is nothing better to do..

Today was a day where I should feel soo great right now, got my nails done today & i got a new haircut with some new color in it. New clothes & new shoes. I told my friend i feel like a million bucks.. But thats such a lie, you can ultimately know how i feel by the type of music i have been listening to.. Soul & country a weird mix i know. but nothing soothes the soul more than Soul music.. & country music always has a nice comforting feeling to me. take a stab at my mood by that combo..

On the work front, i haven’t found a new job yet, but i have been working. Besides work I dont feel like doing anything, i want to lay in my bed all day and do nothing. If i could i really would too. As of lately i havent had a real appetite to eat either, its strange to me & i just force myself to have a little food. No real desire to do anything really, but i know better than to sit and be alone hah I try to surround myself and distract myself. but I ended up going home early and here i am on my lovely Thursday night, BLOGGING!! congratulations Denise you didnt stay out all night (for once).

Only one thing can stop the pain & thats miss Mary Jane. everything goes out the window & all my worries go away. -Denise