[I once heard that when a woman makes a decision she sticks to it no matter what. As much as it seems like she is indecisive, she has already made up her mind.] I can believe it. That’s just me in a nutshell.
Years ago I knew what I wanted and didn’t let it happen because I was young and afraid. Afraid of the unknown and I am sure I didn’t really listen to my heart as much as I should have. I probably took the path that was safer. And don’t get me wrong I have had some crazy/good years. But there has always been this lingering feeling to what could have been. (Everyone thinks about that what if) And finally when something does happen, something amazing, a moment you want to last forever. I mean like all the right words were spoken and everything was beautiful. In that moment you are truly happy. Life never skipped a beat, every hug, laugh, thought, was perfect and it was like you were a teenager again. But then you realize, this will never work. As much as i wished and hoped. I know it. You know it. It’s just one of those things that has it’s moments in your life. But will not happen to full capacity. It’s like you are always a backup never the star.
You can hold on to that small glimmer of hope that one day, it could be everything you wished for. I hold it in my heart always But..
My heart breaks a little.. 💔
Every time I realize how much I care. How much I told myself I should have never let go. How much I notice you feel the same. But everything is a secret. Everything never works out and everything will not be all that I hoped it would.
But why? Because when life gives you lemons it wants fucken limes. It gave you a big fuck you. And you Should have done this when you had the chance.
Life is hard, it takes you to unimaginable heights. And then throws you into the deepest pits for you to wallow in Alone..
I am sure everyone has that one person. But the timing is never right..